OMG

So today either Stephanie just hated me or was in a horrible mood and decided to take it out on me.  She has been strange this week.  One second smiling and then just staring and giving me the stink eye.  So I had a meeting with her and my PM.  Jason didn't go at first but then showed up when I think she told him to get in there.  We were going over the process and she was asking me if I knew what was in the audit finding and why I wasn't addressing it.  Well the PM stated that we were going to be getting in contact with the people are the locations to verify receiving the equipment.  Since I was also told not to correct my PM in front of others by Jason, I was trying to support what he was saying.  She said "that is not the process that Jason came up with, do you not know the process Jason came up with?  I need Jason in here, he knows what is going on."  By the way, that process was told to him by me and I am the one who came up with it.  Yet I also didn't know the process which Jason told her because I wasn't there when he told it to her.  He might have stated it wrong. 

So he comes down and states the process.  I said yes, that is what we are doing.  Then she goes off on me that I don't know what is going on with this process because I am telling her two different stories.  She wants it automated so my team doesn't have to do anything.  Well, my team is still going to have to do things.  Sorry.  She also wanted a process flow showing what everyone is doing.  I said I would get it updated and sent out. I went through and completed it, then sent it to the PM to make him be involved and asked if it matched what we stated.  I didn't ask because I felt that anything was missing but because I wanted him to feel included.  So that started my PM on a different direction that a flow chart wasn't what she asked for.  I said I asked her if a flow chart was ok and she said yes.  He said she did, but that wasn't what she asked for and this isn't going to make her happy.  SO I need to author this process for you.  Sure dude whatever.  So I said "yes please, if you can do that, that would be amazing".  And then left.  Of course STephanie was in Lauren's office bitching about me after that.  And I hear I am, sitting in my office dealing with a company auditing us, another wanting to start an audit, and a bunch of other crap that is going to hit the fan if not completed within the next month.  So yeah! 

I know Stephanie is trying to break me.  I have to be strong and survive until I get another job.  Tom had an interview and I hope it went well.  If he leaves, my team will be down two people.  If I leave...3.  Then Claudina will leave if I leave and it will be down 4.  My team is only 5 people total  So in the end, and maybe by the end of the year, it will be down to just one person.  Just really sucks and I don't want that for Kevin.  This entire thing is crazy and unneeded.  Of course Stephanie thinks it is all my fault and she is taking it all out of me.  OH and I Could have filled that spot and had two people.  But because I was bringing him in, she didn't think he had enough GRC so she didn't want to hire him.  RIGHT.  Someone perfect for the position except no GRC which they will not be doing in that position anyway.  ok.  I know this blog can't be read by anyone.  If you do come across it.  Send me good vibes.  My life is just crazy right now.